i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
