How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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