I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
