I got her a Nickelback box set.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
