Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
