the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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