I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
