i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
