You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
if only i could text you this smell
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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