out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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