So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
