I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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