I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
