THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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