Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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