neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
