The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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