I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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