i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
