i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
