can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
