Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
