I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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