Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
