I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex