Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
