did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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