I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So many bounce houses so little time
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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