She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
