Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
