i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
