haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do herpes really smell.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
