remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
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Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
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It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife