I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car