I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
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Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
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If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.