it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
