Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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