Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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