I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
