is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
