so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
