I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
