You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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