The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?