not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea