I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!