In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.