So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance