I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.