this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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