Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Randomize
