its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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