Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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