both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
