I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
