where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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