Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
