she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
