how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
