dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
