So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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