He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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