Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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