i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize