your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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