how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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