she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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