Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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