no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
